Holidays Without Stress?
By
Dr. Lorraine Cassista
December Spec. Issue, 2000

     With the holidays just around the corner, a million things need to get done, traffic is heavy, stores are crowded, stress levels can rise and nerves can get frazzled. It’s bad enough that life today is already so hectic, we can make things worse around the holidays by cramming in too many activities, commitments and responsibilities. What kind of message are we sending to our children when we let ourselves get so overwhelmed by all of the tasks we have to do that we are unable to enjoy the times? By focusing on the end product and getting it done and over with, you don’t get to enjoy the process. Scaling down really does have its rewards and is not all that difficult to do. Managing stress before it manages you is a good place to start.

     What is stress anyway? Stress has different meanings to different people. Some events that may trigger stress in some may not do so in others. Stress is the response of the body and the demands made upon it to a particular event, a state in which a strong demand is made on the nervous system. The body must then adapt and bring itself back to normalcy. Any stress-producing factors that cause biochemical changes in the body are known as stressors. These biochemical changes are meant to help the body cope with the new demands put on it.

     Most people think of stress as being negative, but stress can occur from either uncomfortable or pleasurable events. It is, of course, the negative stress that puts you at most risk of unpleasant effects. Stress responses can be short term and are physical or behavioral warning signs such as butterflies, increase pulse and heart rate, pain in the neck, sweating, mind drawing a blank or violent outbursts of anger. Long-term stress responses can be in the form of becoming withdrawn or depressed, excessive smoking or drinking, paranoia, impotence and loss of sex drive, headaches, and overeating. While the holidays usually present short-term stress responses, they still can create havoc on the body and the spirit.

     How can you reduce stress and enjoy the holidays? Well, first you may want to set some priorities. Decide what really needs to get done and what you can do without. Discuss with your children and relatives what you value about this time of year (and the rest of the year for that matter). Get the big picture and stay focused on what really matters to you and your family. You may find out that they would also like a slower pace and may want to start newer, simpler traditions. Ask what do I (we) really need to make this holiday season satisfying, productive and meaningful. Encourage those on your list, whether it be your gift-giving list or card-sending list to join in the plan.

     Practical tips to save time would be to shop early. If it’s too late for that already, shop during non-peak times. Divvy up the chores so that everyone pitches in to clean the house, prepare the food, etc. If you have a large family and the responsibility always seems to fall on the same person or family every year, get together and discuss options.

As extended families get larger, sometimes changes need to be made and may be more than welcome if someone is willing to broach the subject. Some people want to do it all themselves and then feel disappointed that no one helps out. Even though it may appear obvious that responsibility should be shared, if all is going well and someone is doing all the work and not complaining, many people may not even think to change things by offering to do more themselves. Be willing to ask for help and to let some things go! Remember change is difficult and most people are resistant to change at first.

     Try setting aside a day or night when most gifts can be wrapped together as a family. Set aside some family time going over old photos of previous holidays and try to capture what made those moments special and incorporate those into your holiday traditions. The key is to enjoy the holidays and reduce the amount of short-term stressors you are exposed to during this busy time of year. When our focus is on the external pleasures of Christmas, Hanukah or any other holiday, we make a conscious effort to unnecessarily complicate our lives. The true spirit of the holidays occurs on the inside.