The Stories We Tell
By
Dr. Lorraine Cassista

     What is your story and how often do you tell it? How many times a day do you say negative or positive statements to yourself or others that confirms the internal belief systems you have about yourself? The world is experienced through our five senses of sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. The impressions you make of your world are not taken in objectively, but rather subjectively through multi-layered filters which are distorted by your interpretations, beliefs, fears, wants, needs, and opinions. Everyone has different sets of filters based on their life experiences so that what is reality to one person may be a different reality for another. Hearing a song, seeing a picture, or even smelling a loaf of bread evokes different thoughts and emotions in different people depending on the subconscious filters through which that event is being perceived. Reality is replaced by what you think it is.

     Our personal experiences color our reality to match what we think. One person may like the speed, thrill and excitement of a roller coaster while another may be petrified. What is true for one is not necessarily true for another. The benefits of sharing your experiences may be great, but have you taken the time to really listen to what you are saying? Try paying attention to the stories you tell and to the little voice inside your head. Our internal talk tells us a lot about ourselves, if we would only listen.

     That little voice in your head is extremely powerful. What can it teach you? If positive, it can be a source of great strength; if negative, it can destroy you or at the very least leave you unable to achieve happiness. It reveals who we are and how we view the world. When we repeatedly say negative comments about ourselves, we continually reaffirm our negative reality of the world. People who view their world in a positive light create a positive reality for themselves. Their world is a brighter, happier place even in times of distress. John Milton once said, “The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of hell or hell of heaven”. How do you view the world and how does it affect your life?

     Your view of the world affects every aspect of your life from your relationships, your personal goals, your financial situation, and your emotional and physical well-being. There are many techniques you can use to improve your self talk. When done correctly, tapping into your imagination through self-hypnosis, the use of affirmations, imagery and visualization and writing in a journal are all very helpful to improving the quality of your self talk. Do some soul searching by taking a long hard look at yourself. Examine how you treat yourself, take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Do you take care of the body you have been given? Do you treat it like a temple or like a dump? What are your relationships like and what is your role in them? Do you respect your body and soul? How can we command the respect of others if we do not respect ourselves?

     Life can be hard, but it doesn’t have to be. We always have a choice. The choices may not necessarily be those we want, nevertheless, they are ours to make and live with. If you learn to be kinder and gentler to yourself while maintaining responsibility and accountability for your thoughts and actions, you can not only feel better, but also be a better person and bring a whole new meaning to your life and those around you.