Surviving Traumatic Experiences
By
Dr. Lorraine Cassista
May, 2001

     Suffering occurs every day in all parts of the world. Some suffering is done privately, while other suffering is quite public. Certainly we see the ravaging effects of war on war-torn countries and their peoples. Memorial Day reminds us of those people who have suffered as the result of war. Closer to home, we see the trauma that pervades our society in the form of violence, homelessness and natural disasters. Personal losses through death, divorce, job insecurities and financial setbacks can all be traumatic. How does one survive traumatic experiences, whether that experience be one of violence, loss, or betrayal?

     Each of us deals with trauma in our own way. There are steps you can take to make the experience more bearable, lessen the negative impact on your health and, sometimes, even turn it into a positive. Whenever we experience trauma, we must look for the lesson to learn from the experience. The first step toward minimizing the negative effects of a traumatic experience is to allow yourself to feel your feelings. Though you may feel numb at first, over time allow yourself to grieve, identify despair, express your sorrow or your anger. Explore your own feelings, not what you think others expect of you or encourage you to feel. Someone who minimizes your feelings by telling you to get over it may not know what else to do for you and feel uncomfortable with their own feelings of helplessness.

     Know that, depending on the severity of the trauma, the emotions you feel may be overwhelming at times. You may go through a series of ups and downs. Some may have nightmares or even suffer post-traumatic stress. This is normal behavior and, when combined with motivation may lead to positive actions. Many people have started organizations to serve others to help educate and prevent the same traumas that they suffered, such as rape crisis groups, addiction centers, child abduction awareness groups, and civil rights groups. Talking to a friend, clergy, or counselor or joining a support group keeps you from feeling isolated and lets you know that others have gone through similar events and share in your experience and your pain. You are not alone!

     If talking is difficult for you to do, writing in a journal may be the next best thing. Being able to put your feelings into words helps to sort them out and make some sense of what has happened. It is also a way to release emotions and give us control allowing us to be able to put the experience behind us. Self-observation has healing power and putting those observations in writing may help us to see more clearly who we are and who we are becoming and serve as a lasting record of our growth and change. If you don’t know where to begin, there are books and workshops on journal writing.

     Studies done on people who have written about their traumatic experiences have shown they reported fewer symptoms and days out of work, fewer doctor visits, a better emotional outlook and a better functioning immune system than those who have not. Traumatic experiences can change your perspective on life and give you a new attitude. We have seen people rally to the help of others during times of war and natural disaster. For some, they serve as a wake-up call.

     We must remember that life has meaning during times of difficulty and unhappiness as well as during good times. Terrible things happen to all people. What gets people through the bad times is knowing that life has meaning no matter what the circumstance. Dr. Victor Frankl, a Nazi death camp survivor who made important contributions to psychiatry said, “In other words, life’s meaning is an unconditional one, for it even includes the potential meaning of unavoidable suffering”. Through “man’s freedom to transcend suffering”, traumatic events may serve as a catapult to finding the meaning of your life.