More Than Wishful Thinking
By
Dr. Lorraine Cassista

     Have you ever wished for something like more time, vacations, friends, a slimmer figure, more time with family, better health? Wishes are beneficial because they allow you to dream and see possibilities that can lead to attainable goals. The problem with wishes is that they frequently are not accompanied with action. Too many people are content with wishing and not taking action to make those wishes a reality. Wishes tend to lose power over time because, when we don’t take action to make those wishes come true, we begin to rationalize our desire as not being real. Rather than seeing ourselves as lazy or unable to initiate the action required to fulfill the wish, it’s easier to say we didn’t really want it anyway.

     Many of us will be turning to the annual tradition of making New Year’s resolutions as a way to improve our lives in some way, through our relationships, careers or personal desires. Common resolutions include getting rid of a habit such as quitting smoking, dropping some weight and getting into better shape. Before deciding to get rid of a habit, look at the purpose that the habit is serving. What are you getting out of smoking or overeating, not exercising, drinking too much, procrastinating? What is the payoff for doing these things verses not doing them or eliminating them? You need to take a look at the inadequacies that keep you stuck in your habits and find the motivating factor that will be equally compelling to eliminate the habit.

     The first step is to clarify your values, determining what is truly important to you. Think of resolutions as goals making sure they do not conflict with your values. If health and fitness are important to you, then setting up a program of regular exercise, staying within your weight limits, quitting smoking, etc. are admirable targets. Just saying that you are going to drop a few pounds or quit smoking is not enough. You need to be specific and identify why you want to change. Is it because you want to feel better, look better, have more energy, spend more time with your family doing activities you can no longer keep up with? How has not doing these things served you? In determining the payoffs these habits have given you, your goals of eliminating them become more real and attainable to you. What do you really want? Are you willing to do what it takes to get it? One reason most people fail to keep resolutions or fulfill wishes is that they require obligation and commitment. We are responsible for our choices. When we see our habits as having greater power over us than we can resist, we are really saying we do not want to be held responsible for our choices. Not taking action abdicates responsibility. Winners do the things that others are not willing to do to reach their goals.

     Planning your goals is extremely important. You need to know when, where, how, and how long. You need to establish deadlines, know your strategy and specify your exact outcomes. Once you have identified the payoffs of your habits, established your values, written down specific goals with reasonable time frames in which to accomplish them, listed personal benefits for achieving your goals, and planned your strategy, you need to take action. Intention without action is delusion. Delusions lead to disappointment. Intentions need action in order to be fulfilled. It’s a matter of choosing to be at cause (taking action) rather than being at effect (being acted upon). It’s what you do every day that counts. You may mess up here and there, but it’s the constant move forward that leads to success. Success requires action! It means taking control of your life, starting today, not waiting for tomorrow.